gawd.. this is sooo tough..

seriously i've tried so hard for my prelims...
damn it.. where did i go wrong??!!!!
damn it damn it.. i feel like tearing my hair out.
grrrrr...... f***ing sheets of paper..
i better score my a's. i better.
grrrrrr.....................




am i only too human
making mistakes one after the other
not appreciating the greatness of one
chasing an aimless desire
to pursue a blinded happiness
dwelling deep in a heart's discontent
thus far i've regret
i don't deserve sympathy for my actions
neither am i asking for it
my existence
a close resemblance to the tides of the sea
feelings and emotions of highs and lows
nv the same, nv constant, nv stable.
the status of both genders
intertwining roles and clearly undefined personalities
its one or the other
the loneliness is excruciating, yet the pain is worst.
karma they call it
i do deserve the punishment
for being disloyal and dishonest
still very naive and unstable
i'm unappreciative of what i own.
of what i have.
my beauty, shld be enuf to please many.
yet i demand for companionship
at places where i dun belong
it is not my place to determine
but it is my right to choose
and in doing so, i hurt.
and am being hurt in the process.
such idiocy. unbelievably simple to avoid.
my fickleness will always be my weakness
nevertheless..
it will build me up and be a curable factor.
this is juz too much for my pea brain to absorb, analyse and figure.
aside from all the junk i have to take in from chemistry, maths and physics.
until i major in psychology, all the junk will be set aside.
;)



there'll be less posts from me. A's in 5 weeks time.

Ade-ke-gabra??

I wanna tell you something rather insane really. It's so outrageously foolish even Khad will find it hard to believe. The madly eager thing is, deep down in my heart, I know I can fly. As in, moving swiftly through the air. This is starting to seem rather unsound now.

As a kid, I always watch my favourite magician on television. David Copperfield is his name. I used to love his magic tricks even though I think I know he sold his whole life to the red guy just for that fame and popularity. Black magic. I have no evidence to proof this, but hey, tell me, where is he right now? Dead I suppose? Hmmm. But we're not here to talk about black magic at all anyways. So after watching one of his greatest tricks, which was flying himself through the air around that stage at the moment, I thought to myself, what if it wasn't black magic at all and what if everyone could fly too? Because David once said, "Believe in yourself." So as naive as a kid can be, I did that. I believe so hard I even tried to jumped up and flapped my arms like wings. I couldn't remember but I think it became an obsession for me. I mean, I had a lot of dreams about me flying around my neighbourhood, helping my neighbours to fight crime. Heh. And when it turns to nightmare mode out of a sudden, which it will usually, I would somehow lost my flying ability and just plunged straight down like a stone. What's astonishing is that no matter how many times I fall, I would never get hurt.

So what if I can really fly? Should you know? Should I put to good use? Should I abuse it? Or should I tell everyone I know? Hmmm. Keeping it as a secret. It'll be so damn difficult with such feelings like proudness, haughtness and arrogance just waiting to burst out inside of you. And what if I say the more I use my ability, the shorter my lifespan becomes. It kinda reminds John Travolta's character in that movie, Phenomenon. He pushed himself beyond the human limit by reading hundreds of books, gaining great knowledge in matter of days, thinking that it was the work of aliens that he saw. He didn't become proud instantly. He just tried to put his ability to good use for the better of mankind, but people seem to be more interested in the alien incident and how he became so intellectual out of a sudden. He overworked his body, mind and spirit to end it all up with a brain tumor a month later. Quite sad isn't it? Will I die too for using a lot of energy just to fly? If I can really fly.

Malaikat, jin and Adam. Made from the purest light, the hottest fire and the finest soil respectively. If it says in the Hadith that there's one type of jin that can fly and my Mum guessed that malaikat can fly as well because of it's unlimited mukjizat that Allah Taala have given, do you think Adam, who is representing humans, can join the club? Mum says no. She made a point that we humans are prone to make sins which the other two can't. "So be a good boy and daddy will buy you toys, okay??" Since we're proned since day one, we can't say Wazaaa? to Superman in the skies. Hmmm.

Flying. Ahhh.

Ps: If you ask me to become a pilot, I'll show you my butt cheeks.

WARNING: Adult Material 

Mocha Frappe, Delicious But Dirty. Tsk, Tsk.

Life seems to be pretty slow these days. One moment you're happy and another moment, you're not. It's kinda sick to know that it's already beginning to mould like a pattern. It'll get out of hand soon if enough, I know, and when it does, don't be scared. Just talk to someone. Someone close. Someone that you can can trust upon. It'll make you feel better. By then you should know your weather forecast. The only thing you shouldn't forget is that for every dark cloud, there's always a sun waiting to shine your life through.

So, am I a hungry-looking monster, with furry arm and fury eyes? No? Well, I feel like one. Heck! Even the kids at under my void-deck are hugging their mums' cushioned bottoms... mmm... tightly when they look at me. Gosh. Maybe I am one. Who knows? I have a soft sweet heart though. I play with rabbits and sing with birds. Do you have to be naive? Do you have to follow your heart? Just stop thinking about everything else, and just believe me for a second. If you get eaten up, hehe, then that's practically it. I mean really... Okay, so lets say you're resurrected. What do you have in mind now? Never... to... stand... sigh, never to stand near to a monster playing with rabbits and birds. There! A lesson learnt! Don't forget to shout though, "Didn't yer momma ever told ya not to play with yer food?! Screw yer soft sweet heart!"

Hmmm. Anyway, the truth is somewhat delicious to me. It kinda makes up the faith and trust that you lost. So... was there any other dates? or was there just one? I wonder.

Not to make you feel even more guilty, but...

...I intend to stay here with you forever

its all abt us..

that sales lady was irritating! but i did say thank you to her okkkaaaayyyyyy......................
hehehe...

lasagne cooked specially by my beloved boyfriend!!!
it is sooooo jndbfdgfruegtfrhfds GGOOOOOOODDDDDDD...........................
heh.. its half eaten adi.. den i forgot to take a photo of it.. hehe..
so sweet rite............................ *droooolllllssssssss*
i was so touched... *soobbbssss*
;)

yesterday was so fun!!! so long nv go out wid shu jing to town.. haha..

this woman is weird la.. she was on a date wid some boring guy.. den she messaged me asking me wat i was doin and that she was damn bored. and she wants me to go to ps find her.. and the best part is that she was on a date. i feel like a super bright lightbulb ah. haha.. den we went to the toilet and was scheming on how to get rid of the guy.. cos he is so boring........................... he did not even plan anything when he went out wid her.. not even a movie.. tsk.. he dint even offer to pay for her movie tix when she say she's broke also.. like wtf? so in the end, when i came i was the one who was leading them around and talking and laughing.. like so weird.. den we told him some lie that we're goin to our fren's hse and he sounded kinda disappointed. heh.. after he left we went to walk to town from ps.. we had fun.. see see around.. laugh laugh.. haha.. damn funny.. den at cine saw de ming-our sec skol classmate. and he shouted my name! like the whole of cine can hear ah! hahaha.. den some kiddos approach me and ask for my number.. "..." ok la.. looks quite alrite ah.. gave him the wrong number and den walked away.. so not interested.. den they we tagging along as we were walking from shop to shop.. so menyibuk dese kids. den we left cine and went to taka.. got pretty tired from all the walking adi so we went to mos burger for milkshake!! and while waiting for my beloved boyfriend to come also.. heh.. cos shu jing need to leave for home and my bf is coming to accompany me.. heE.. den when we were walking to the mrt station, we were laughing and making jokes all the way abt the mirrors lining wisma atria. was so fun.. heE.. its been so long since we had much fun.. ;)

pics at mos burger..

she looks like her hamster!! and me? like my cat. ... ... ... my crazy best friend.. ;)

she's wearing her new earrings and she thinks they're too big.. its not woman..............

u look great!

so many guys stare at her can.. i feel so jealous.. hehehehe..

Good Customer Service, What Is It To You?

Lately, I've witnessed something that troubled me these past few days, but before I kiss and tell, I would pretty much like to say that this post, I think, is dedicated to all those, well most of them, hard-working sales assistants who fights tiredness, clearing their never ending stocks in their shops, satisfying different type of customers all day and all night, with only three things in their mind that are, "The Customer's Always Right.", "The Customer's Always Right." and "The Customer's Always Right." Sickening, yeah... but true. This phrase have been instilled or somewhat forced to stay in their mind throughout their career even before the day they started working since... training day... oooh... aaah...

Customer service skills have to be used the same way it have been taught to be used and some have to be used with a little bit of... common sense. I mean, how would you feel if the sales assistant stays close by walking around the shop with you right after you've entered the shop, behaving exactly like your very own personal assistant or sometimes, your fashion advisor? Activating every single time you touch an item with discount information and cost information, even before GST... I mean... oh my goodness... You know, that's somewhat annoying to me and to most, I am sure of it. Arghhh! Give us space pleaseee...

Somehow, it's nice to know that there are some others who would put effort to go an extra mile just to serve you better. I mean to the extent of helping you to buckle up the shoe that you're trying on. Now that's where customers' independence may be disturbed and it can be annoying sometimes, but they're just trying to be nice... really. It's not like there's tips to be given or something and hey, at least you won't get be blamed if the buckle spoils out of a sudden. Heheheee. Yeah... so... a thank you would be nice, but of course if you're having a really bad day, then I'd totally understand... I don't want to hear any thank you, bi-atch or anything quite similar to that.

Do you want to know more?
Do you want to know more?

dum di di dum..

truth hurts. we're all unique. but not necessarily useful. sad.

those gorgeous eyes.................................... i've a fetish for cats.. hehehe..

Writing On Impulse

Hmmm. You can't own a girlfriend because that is just plain wrong. See, if you don't agree with me then I guess it's like you bought your girl or something for a price. If you try to be smart by saying, "Oh, I paid her with all my love. Hehe." Then you're just being silly beacuse love doesn't cost a single thing. It's basically free will and it's whether the other party wants you or not. Fate, whatever you call it. It's about earning as well. To be trusted and to be loved. Sad to say but some people keep confusing earning with owning. Well no, earning doesn't mean owning neither does it mean unconditional love. Unconditional love supports the idea of true love, which knows no fear or ownership, without conditions. So there it is... You can't own a girlfriend. Unless you want to, just search back your shortlisted spares.

Nowhatchawant?!

Scenario 1

Khad: Eh, By.

Shalih: What?

Scenario 2

Shalih: Baby...
Shalih: By...

Shalih: By!

Khad: What?? (Irritated)

Scenario 3

Shalih: By, I just dropped your handphone...

Khad: What?! (Shocked)

Scenario 4

Khad: Baby.........

Shalih: What...? (Tired)

I have come to a conclusion in which one can say the word, "What" despite having different types of feeling which usually change over time. If "What" in Scenario 4 sounds rude, then it makes no difference for the other three scenarios. A rude "What" would consist of one or more rude words with it. For example:

"Nowhatchawant, woman?!"
"WTF??"

...and many others you can think of. I'm sure you can.

So this is Shalih, teaching you the way of life, again. Stay tuned.

insecurities..

prelim season has started..
i'll be brain dead soon enough..
this is the first time i cant slp properly before the exam..
cannot believe i panicked the night before..
sounds really silly thou.. worried over a stupid peice of paper..
tsk.. but that piece of paper determines my bloody future anyways..

so was depending on my darling bf for some support over the night..
kenny asked me out for a concert on tenth october but i rejected him.
told him i'm not free.. so i told my bf abt it..
and naturally he'll be pretty mad.. cant blame him there..
sigh... so i really cldnt slp..
and it seems i annoyed my bf by calling him.. twice.
so on the 2nd night i cldnt slp..
was thinking of him(who else)..
but of cos.. cant call him also..
den i'll be annoying him again and he wldnt like that wld he..

pretty disappointed there..
cant do anything also..
so i counted sheeps till i slumber.
pretty silly aite.. heE..



so den during my 2 sleepless nights so far..
was pondering on the idea of love..
is there really such a thing as unconditional love?
wldn't it hurt u
if u're always there for ur other half but they're nv there for u?
isnt that wat unconditional love is?
that u're always giving without expecting anything in return?
but how far and how long can the human heart do that?
even ur parents expect u to take care of them when they grow old..
does that put them as pp who give unconditional love?
i tink not.
and in relationships, it gets pretty tiring when the giver is constantly giving.
and the receiver nv does anything to give back what they have taken.
be it emotional support, wealth, watever la......
haven i always been there for everyone?
so when is someone going to be there for me?


and yea.. i've been a selfish human lately..
and not to mention revengeful.
cos i juz cannot feel as secured as i used to be.
not when so many things are happening around me..
and moreover, seeing him feel emotionally disturbed juz looking at her..
juz.... opened up my wounds..
grrrr.............
i hate feeling so down..

oh oh.. expect more emotional posts from me.. hehe..
its been a tiring and challenging month..
grrrr....


;D

WARNING: Adult Material

Khad: Love bite?

Shalih: Oh yes please...

Khad: MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH!!

Shalih: ARGHHH HELPPP!!

i'm going crazy.

i sound depressed all the time.. well, online at least.. dere's juz so much running thru my head lately that i juz cant be myself.. i dun really feel like bogging abt the problems i've been having lately but its really eating into me that i cant take it anymore. the latest quarrel i had wid my bro really knocked me off. i juz cannot believe he'd defend the old man whom he nv knew loved him or not and hit me-his own sister. everyday my mind will juz automatically rewind itself to that very same scene where i'd be complaining to my mum y that old man cannot wait to cut my allowance even thou i'm still schooling, and that he was making my youngest sis look like a fool in public abt her skin problem and long hair. i was bad-mouthing him of cos. the man who says he loves us but treats us like we nv existed. the man who nv calls or visits to ask how we are. and my bro juz cannot miss the opportunity to scold me. and screams and call me names. i was having my dinner and wid my cup and a bottle of water in front of me. and his hand flew to my cup and broke it. right beside my left foot. i was crying, naturally cos i'm a girl. and i was so very pissed that i threw my bowl of food on the floor. and thats when his hand juz had to hit my right ear. it still stings a bit till now. i juz dun get it. why does he have to use violence? why doesnt he want to understand why i hate my father so much? i ran from home for a while. the need to cry was so overwhelming. it took me so long to understand why he defended my father. till now i still dun understand. father over sister. he chose the former. it really hurts. but i did understand smth thou. he wants to be like my old man. he wants to be that violent, selfish mean old man. the man who dun even loves him. i haven found out why thou. but i vow that no man will be allowed to hit me. that will be the last. i will nv be in that weak position ever again. sigh.. everyday i wld change the scene.. wat wld have happened if the glass had injured my foot? and my mum? she's useless. she sides my bro all the time. cos he's the only man in the hse. even when he scolds her she nv scolds him. when he's scolding me, she tells me to shut up. its juz so unfair. i hate adults who demand respect. because obviously they dun deserve it. respect is the only factor that keeps the young from destroying the old. thats why religion makes it compulsory for the young to respect the old. cos it gives the old the importance and status which places them above youths. without it, they're nth. behind closed doors, my mum wld tell me that i'm the only one whom she can depend her future on. juz cos i'm the more successful child than the rest? isnt she such a hypocrite. why dont she depend on my bro? he's working, she loves him to bits, she lets him do anything. and i cant. juz like how she cannot defend us from my father. i dun ever want to be like her. juz wait. until i'm out of this house, i can finally break free. and prove to him that the only person with attitude problem is him. the only person who will regret leaving his kids is that old man. i'm tired of pp telling me that he is my father and i have to respect him and all that stupid shit. dun tell me the obvious. tell me how i can get rid of him. sigh.............. i juz need to let go so much.. life is so tiring.. is this a blessing in disguise or smth that i deserve for my crimes? i need counselling.before i go raving mad..

sigh... i'll have to take all this in with patience.
lots of patience...

WARNING: Adult Material

Shalih: Oh I'm a good boyfriend...

Khad: Oh I'm sure...

i am juz so wrong.

ah.. this is the problem when u have a public blog..
u juz cant spit all ur shit out.
bcos somewhere somehow some idiot will shoot u back.

but wat the hell.. i dun give a shit anyways.

but i shld.

cos they are from the same class.

and i dun wan to make anything worse.

tsk tsk.

hfdhfoijf. he can handle himself well.
...........................................................................

ahhh... will have less time for him these days.
prelims juz around the corner..
tsk tsk..
dont go running ard yea baby.. hehe..
some pp will try hitting on u.
be careful.....................!!!
hehehe..
so sori.. there's some inside joke here tts juz between me and shalih.
;D

.....................................................

so i've heard..
all the nastiest things abt me..
tsk tsk..
as if u pp were any angels..

like so what if i was brought up from a broken family.
i have my problems.
u have yours.
so dont compare.


tsk tsk.

the gf is not happy.

excuse me..............................

no one touches my boyfriend's butt.
not a pinch.
not a poke.
flirt wid someone else freako.
HMPH!


NO ONE touches my boyfriend's butt.


i hope i made that clear.

I DO NOT LIKE THAT.

my kitty!

the thief who drank my drink!!! caught red-handed.. naughty kitty...

looking innocent there...............

the lazy overgrown baby is now fast asleep on my desk.. tanks to the sleeping pills in the drink! hehehehehe..

menyibuk aje la dier....

stressed.............

sori....... been MIA lately...
everything's in random order cos my mind is all scrambled up..
thanks to the terribly difficult GP paper..
tsk tsk..
anyways..............


teacher's day celebration @ CJC
sucks. i pity the teachers.
its a day for them to enjoy but performances were terrible..

had MCS farewell celebration @ sembawang park.
so tiring.. yet so fun..
such a nice farewell for ME!! hehehe..
finally................... i'm out of MCS.
i have to admit. i wasnt a very dynamic leader.
but at least the skol knows that we exist man.........
i failed-to increase the enrolment rate. i tried.
but it was juz too tough!! hahaha..
pls la.. who wld want to join the MALAY CULTURAL SOCIETY??
i myself kena forced to join last yr can..
sigh... its over....
and i did my best.. i achieved my goals. and i'm proud of it! ;)


today's my mum's birthday!!! hahaha.. and she's out wid her pals..
coming home late some more..
fascinating..


prelims in 9 days??
damn..
i'm goin to be more inactive..
hibernating.
bleargh... i hate studying.....

lazy.

my chinese fish balls are waiting to be cooked.
i made them wid a lil help from my sis.. ;)
tata..!

What's more fun than love?

Today is a great day for romance but too bad because I think yesterday's meet up was the last. At least for the moment. We can't see each other anymore. Khad's preparing for her mock A level examinations and I'm preparing for my 1st semesteral examinations. I can't wait for the 1 month holidays after that. I'm ready to have some big-time fun. Well, at least I should be. Can't wait to see what's lined up for me. I'll show up and I'll bring my best possible attitude and I think from there, things will be easy as pie.

Oh! I'm feeling good today. I don't know why but I woke up this morning feeling like the entire globe is my playground. I think I should go out for a jog or play street soccer later in the evening with my friends just to get the chance to roam a mile or two outside my usual 32 inches by 32 inches room with a toilet before I start feeling confined. Yeah. Maybe I should.

What about yesterday? Yesterday, Khad, my hot tamale, and I were both in a great mood. We went out shopping at Seiyu Junction 8 for my formal suit. I need to get one for my big presentation next Monday. It become a laugh riot when the two of us cannot behave. Of course, we stopped when tiredness came into the picture. I guess that's all I have to say in this episode. Take care people. Oh! Oh! Do you think our blog needs a tag-board? Please comment.

What's more fun than love?
Nothing!