Bengsters' Paradise

I used to dislike Ah Bengs you know. They're just so different from the average. Their not ashamed of how they bring out themselves in public. Something which Sir Stamford Raffles would be ashamed off really. I'm mean look at their gatsby-dyed hairs, '60s fashion and daring programmes. Trendsetters, slow ones, fight club, fast ones. I just so wanna be away from them before I get one of them to say, "Stare what stare?"

One day, I was having a conversation with my friend on the phone and I didn't realise that I started a sentence with 'eezeet'? I looked into the mirror and accidentally said, "Really meh? Like I don't have a kiasu spirit inside of me like that... Please lor." Man, it's starting to come out. If you think about it, apart from those spiky neon hairs, Ah Bengs were the first to embrace handphones when those innovative gadgets were, haha, brick-like water bottles. (I used to have one when I was in primary school) They are one of the symbols of singapore and we should be proud of them because they have attitude. They dare to be different. Respect...

GONG SI MI? ANIWAES, WAT U TINK AH?

time off.

i'm tired.
i've to start renewing myself. again.
less complains, less whining.
most probably i'll be talking less and less.
sigh......
and i'm goin to be the independent person i used to be.
i'll make decisions on my own again.
i wont ask for comments or opinions.
cos no matter how important they are to me, i dun tink anyone wld be interested in giving them.

dont boss me ard.dont tell me to get my facts rite.
if u hadnt noticed, i'm driven mostly by emotions and empathy. seldom by intellect and reason.
i act on my feelings and others.so as usual, dont hide ur feelings away from me.
cos i wont know.and it'll juz hurt u more.
dont tell me wat i shld or shld not do.
cos it does not matter anymore.

after this week's time-off.i'll be different.
more resolved.hope u like her.cos she's changed for u.

i hate titles.

hahaha.. her name is fiza and she tinks she's a big head..
she is not ashamed, neither guilty nor remorseful.
for saying hurtful comments.. isnt she so obviously portraying herself as a worthless human?
but again-who am i to judge her comments..
and yet-who says i cant??


my girlfren juz got attached recently..
but she seems to be facing some fierce opposition..
i'm juz really very very happy for her..
knowing wat her past was like, i dun care who she's in love wid..
as long as she's happy and she seems to be..

double date soon yea?? maybe a triple?? plus a blind date for jing..
how abt that eh?? ;)




too many things have been happening ard me lately..
not much time to blog.
and when i do, i forget wat i wan to write abt.
silly me..

hmmm- considering of buying a new pair of specs
or contact lenses. been saving up lately.. still thinking hard.
and he tinks i'm complaining.
doesnt seem to wan to hear abt me talking abt the specs and lenses i see.
fine den. i wont.
i wont tell u anything anymore since they always seem to be called "complaints"


i managed to read the last harry potter book within 3 days.
pretty sad story. strongly recommended. for avid readers only.
so sad tt this is the last book.. was hoping j k rowling will continue the saga.


tts juz abt it. tired now. chao.

When Boyfriend Goes Bored

nuthead.

we are us---------

watever la.............................. ;)

:)

he bot me a new top!!! weeeeeee.................




i dun wan u to feel inferior baby..
i wan u to feel happy..
i guess it cant be helped.. if i attract unwanted attention..
u make me look good hunny..
maybe u shld start looking juz as great too..
den we'd look like the cute couple we've oways wanted to be..
ooppss.. error..
we are a cute couple already.. hehe..
u'll look juz as great as i am..
i'll make sure we'll look compatible..
den other's eyes will be to US.. not only me.. ;)
they'll be eyeing us hunny.. both of us..
dont feel inferior k hunny..

i love u juz the way u are..

except the brown, black, white parts..
hehehehe..
we'll go for yellow, red, light blue and lime green next time yea..
and no more oversized shirts.. ;)


and yea.. u're definitely good for me.. the best.
there's no one better than u.



ps: AKAK!!!! next time shalih go out shopping wid u, dont let him buy black, brown or anything dull k... hehehe.. ;P

...

NICOLE IS ATTACHED!!!!
JOYCE IS ATTACHED TOO!!!!
SHU JING!!! WHEN IS UR TURN???

hahahahhaa... so kewl.....................
both got attached within 2 weeks!
WOW! i'm soooo happy for u guys!!
;)


i'm so bored at home.i dunno wat my bf is doin also.
i'll juz rot here in front of the comp.cheerios.

Attention: Rewind

charming

charming

charming

charming

charming

charming aren't i?

i'm gonna have a new pace, gonna concentrate on other's needs for a change. watch this space...

national day '05

tired tired.. went out at 11 in the morning and return home at 11 at nite..
12 hours out of hse..
how can my mum not nag at me.
haha..
first half of the morning was out studying wid him.
2nd half we went to esplanade..
go walk walk and also to watch the fireworks.
dint plan this at first.
was supposed to go home and watch tv..
but then went to see fireworks wid him la.
v. nice..
too lazy to update much.. i guess the pics are self-explanatory.
its under "national day 9/8/05"
so juz click on it ler..
tired.. he's asleep adi..
now's my turn.. tata..

yesterday..

had GP mock paper earlier in the day...
so difficult seh.........................
compre paper was abt wat? choices and destiny...
aiyo......... fingers cramped and neck also cramped..
bent over the paper for 3 solid hours.. mad...
i tried my best thou.. and i feel good abt it.. everything tt Mrs Biswas taught me was clearly inside my head..
hopefully i'll get a good grade.. now left wid Chem and Maths mock..
sigh...............................





went to sentosa wid him later in the day..
visited siloso beach and its gorgeous..
juz sat down to watch the sunset and haf a picnic..
i cooked pasta but there was not enough sauce.. hehe..
eat only la.. he brought sausages and bread and oreo cookies..
not bad.. den when we were out of the toilet to wash up, was walking towards the bus stop,
i picked up $22 bucks, on the road!
hehe.. i tot it was $40 in the first place cos it was a pretty thick pile of notes there.
hehehe.. so we were feeling pretty rich there..
and spent it on food even thou we were feeling full..
hahaha..
the musical fountain was beautiful..
it was my first time there ah.. so a bit suaku..
den went for a walk at harbourfront shopping mall..
most of the shops closed adi by the time we reached..
but juz go see see la..
all in all the whole day was pretty enjoyable..
slacking around and chatting and arguing..
and eating also..
;)
its time to face my books soon..
photos uploaded under sentosa trip-6/8/05






i've been reading the blog by sarong party girl..
and i have to admit.. its pretty impressive..
u have to read it wid an open mind..
most of wat she writes are things i'll strongly object to..
things that most humans, conservatives and asians will object..
like sharing her bf wid her best frens..
she dun mind her bf having sex wid her frens.. as long as they like it too..
she writes a lot abt how she leads her life..
and its really interesting..
interesting in a way that i know i'll nv be interested in doing wat she does..
interesting in the way that such pp do exists..
and the way she looks at sex, life and religion is unique.
she dun tink sex is sacred. but she's a staunch christian.
and she dun tink she has sinned in any way..
hahaha.. but this does not necessarily mean i'm influenced to be like her..
i'd like to stress that point. in case u readers make the wrong assumptions..
so yeah.. i'd encourage u pp to read it.. but also.. respect the way she leads her life..
and dont go give stupid comments that will simply reflect on ur immaturity.

i still hold on strongly to my ideas and my way of life.
but thanks to her, i've understood more abt hers.

http://sarongpartygirl.blogspot.com/

career's day..

so i've decided wat i wanna do..
NUS psychology or NYP physiotherapy..
i'm more interested in social work than in my own branch of science..
its so dry................
the lab is juz not a suitable place for me..
i'd rather drop dead there..
so my first goal is to.......... do well for my mock exams..
they may only be a mock exam but i tink its really important for me to do well..
since i did very badly for my mid yrs.. this is the only other chance i have to score and judge my own capabilities..
i'm aiming for straight Cs.. doesnt sound v grand.. but its better than the Fs i got previously..

from there comes prelims..
straight Bs is wat i wan..
i'm goin to have to toil everyday..
which means more food during my short breaks..
the stress is really taking a toll on my appetite..

hopefully i'll achieve As for my A'levels..
i wanna get a scholarship to study psychology/physiotherapy..
its the only way i can excel cos my sister will also be goin poly next yr..
and we're short on finances..

so my eyes are on the scholarships.. i'm goin to do well..




that man called my mum up to ask for money..
at least she's smart enuf to reject and ignore him..






i love the flowers he gave..
so sweeetttteeeettteetetettetee.....
he fetched me from skol yesterday..
and gave me the flowers at my skol bus stop..
so embarassed......................... aiyo........
i feel so sad that they're wilting adi.. i wish they'll last forever.....
here's my mamy baby in my rose garden..



there are more pics in the links under Albums..
i was so afraid she'll chew them off!!! but thankfully she didnt..
looks good eh.. hehehe..
my hp can only take pics where there's bright light..
in the late noon and evening, the pics are goners..
but the resolutions not so bad.. and i'm satisfied wid it.. ;)




life is peaceful and happy for me at the moment..
and i cannot ask for more..

Suddenly

Suddenly I fall in love all over again, over the smallest, most wonderful thing.

~Khadijah Binte Abdul Rahim~

Ps: I got the PS 2! Weee...

My Family And Friends

It has been days since I've last seen them. I know school work is important, but so is having a life. I met an ex-classmate of mine at the interchange today. Automatically, we talk about the significant moments in the past back in secondary school like how we used to damage school properties and all. It was the perfect topic to talk about. So yeah, all I'm saying is that having a life is also important and you should balance it well with other stuff. Talking about family, I have to complete my Collision Course project for my cousin.

I had an extra good day today. Sat down with Khad and thought about the stuff that have been happening for the past few days. We talked about whatever loose ends that need to be tied, characteristic and feeling wise. Then we started tying! Hehe.

Oh and I bought for her flowers.

Leading My Life Optimistically, That's How

A project for a friend, Business Company Logo.

"The fresh taste of clean air, delicious in your mouth, filling up your lungs; good. You breathe it in deep and in huge mouthfuls before there comes a day when the richness of that flavour is robbed from you, when the richness is polluted by dirt, smoke and poison, when your heart will fail you and your lungs will not pump with all its vigour, and when that day comes, you cant stop it, you can't make the taste return, you're helpless, and all your past returns as flashes." - Khadijah, 31st July

If you meet up with a couple of detours in your life which might be tugging at your sleeve, trying to get your attention, especially something from your past, examine what's been going on in your recent life or not so recent past when you get a chance. You'd probably get some answers that will get you to start moving in the right direction again, especially if you find someone you can talk to about your findings.

I'm running low on energy earlier today and it was dragging my whole mood down. Instead of swinging it, I was thinking of sleeping in because it's a good day to do so, but thanks to a caring neighbour of mine, that thought was crushed into pieces. A kid, probably leaving a higher floor than mine at the opposite block, was shouting acrosss the distance, "Hello! Hello! Wake up! Wake up!" If only I had a shotgun under my bed... I woke up showing my appreciation by saluting to Clock Boy and kicked into gear. I'm so so so happy to study...

To Doink: Shop for work out machines and dine vegetable salads next time...

Am I eating?

Am I eating because I'm hungry, or am I eating because it's a good way to distract myself from what's really going on? I should appreciate food and I shouldn't used it to avoid my emotions or to deal with my feelings I'd rather not be having. Rather than picking up some potato chips, I should instead ask myself what is it that I'm scared of? Hmmm. Maybe if I do that, I should feel better and also, I think my physical and emotional health should benefit at the same time.

My dad told me that there'll be man coming today with a table which I think my dad bought, so I have to be home around 6pm. I'd really rather go out to study with Gerard. That was the case and I didn't suppress my initial reaction. I let him know that I have better stuff to do and he asked why, then I said, "It's the common tests, pa!" I am an efficiency expert when it comes to things like this. Hehe.

Speaking about common tests. I've been waiting to blow my top. I know that I should take it easy, but all this studying is really stressful. By Thursday, I should be back to my outgoing, adventurous self, and others won't be able to get enough of me. Hehe. Besides, I'm having my last test on Thursday! Even with that, I still can't wait for Wednesday. Yes, sweet Wednesday. Relaxing this over-worked brain of mine. Thinking of a nice early dinner, with a little romance too. Maybe I'll take time out for jogging on the day before.

What do you do when you're sad, angry, frustrated, etc.? Do you eat like me? Share your thoughts...