What If (Part 3)

Scene: At the Parliament
BOOM!
Chairperson/Judge (CJ): What the @*%# is happening?
Assistant (As): It's the Minister for Defence, trying to make a grand entrance.
Minister for Defence (MFD) enters the Parliament wearing a Rambo costume while holding a weapon.
MFD: How do you like my new anti-tank gun? Don't worry, I'm using blanks.
The other members (Mems): This Defence Minister always trying to impress.
CJ: So what are you trying to prove?
MFD: That you are never too old to carry a gun. I'm proposing that due to manpower shortages, we recall all senior citizens for active duty.
Mems: I object to that idea on the grounds that if will deprive our vital industries of senior citizen. Who's going to work in all the McDonald's stores? Who's going to be security guards? Who's going to collect ten cents at the public toilets if we mobilise all the senior citizens?
CJ: ...and don't forget, there are many senior citizens in this room too, so I suggest you go back and review your proposal.
MFD: Okay lah, in that case I think I'll consider using foreign workers.
Mems start whispering again.
Mems: I think we should put him and the Minister for Environment in a rocket and send them to orbit.
CJ: You two again! One more time and I'll make you stand outside.
MFD: By the way, since I'm here, let me show you how the anti-tank gun works.
MFD starts to fiddle with the weapon.
BANG B-B-B-BANG BANG!
MFD: Err., sorry, I think I may have loaded a live round by mistake. ANYWAY, now we have a sun roof. Heh! Heh!
CJ: You clown! Now I have to call for the Civil Defence to repair the hole. Who's in charge of the Civil Defence?
As: The Minister for Home Affairs.
CJ: So where is he?
As: At home, sir.
CJ: I give up! So who's next?
As: The Minister for Education.........

Presenting...

Presenting...

What If (Part 2)

Scene: At the Parliament
Chairperson/Judge (CJ): Okay. Now the Minister for Environment will be presenting his budget.
Minister for Environment (MFE) enters the Parliament wearing a road sweeping outfit.
MFE: In case you all are wondering why I'm dressed like this...
CJ: Don't tell me you are also trying to get a feel of the job?
MFE: No, no, I dress this way because i can then blend into the crowd, and see first hand the problems my workers are facing.
CJ: So what have you discovered?
MFE: I think our citizens are not taking the Corrective Work Order too seriously. We need to increase the penalties.
CJ rolls eyes.
CJ: What do you have in mind?
MFE: How about caning for first time offenders?
Opposition (Op) stands up.
Op: Oei, don't talk rubbish lah!
The other members (Mems) cut in.
Mems: What do you mean? He's the Minister for The Environment, of course he has to talk rubbish.
Op turns and giggles.
CJ: Ahem, ahem, err... cameraman make sure that part is censored, okay?
MFE: I'm sick of all these jokes about my ministry, okay?!
CJ: Aiyah! Relax lah, why so uptight? Let's discuss your rubbish, I MEAN your issue later okay?
BOOM!
CJ: What the @*%# is happening...?!

What If (Part 1)

In this post, I'd like you to imagine what things would be like if parliament proceedings were conducted in a more casual atmosphere. Proceedings could be conducted in Singlish and what if all the members were required to make their speeches more entertaining? Well exercise your creativity and I'll give an idea. Here goes...

Scene: At the Parliament
Chairperson/Judge (CJ): And now the Minister for Transport will present his proposal.
Minister for Transport (MFT) enters the parliament with a Harley Davidson Motorcycle.
MFT: Not bad ah! Impressive or not?
CJ: Oei! What you think this is? Beach party is it?
MFT: Aiyah! Relax lah! With the rise in C.O.E. prices even I can't afford to buy a car. So I decided to invest in a motorcycle.
Opposition (Op) stands up.
Op: Do you know that motorcycle C.O.E. also very expensive?
CJ and the other members (Mems) look at Op.
CJ: You ah, every time like to spoil the fun.
Mems: Can you stop complaining or not?
Mems: Yah, yah, sit down lah!
MFT: After I started riding motorcycles, I realised how dangerous our roads are for motorcyclists, so I'm proposing that we increase the C.O.E. for cars by 100%.
Mems: Oei, oei! No, no!
CJ: You gila or what?
MFT: This will stop people from buying cars and then the streets will be safe for motorcyclist.
Mems start whispering.
Mems: Looks like he spent too much time under the sun.
Mems: Yah, looks like one of his screws is loose. Heh heh!
CJ: Aye, you two can stop talking or not?
Mems: Sorry lah, just trying to stay awake by telling jokes.
CJ: Yah, I notice some of the back benchers are already in dreamland. Must tell the TV cameraman not to focus on these sleeping beauties. What will the public think? Okay, now the Minister for Environment will be presenting his budget.........

Life

Gee, I Could've Thought Of Dat!

Tired of taking crowded elavators? Sick of standing in crowded buses?
Here's the solution. Get yourself some...

B.O Deodorant!

Step 1: Spray some B.O Deodorant on yourself.
Step 2: Then watch them flee for their lives when you step into a crowded elavator, bus and cinema!

B.O deodarant comes in various scents: The Stinko (Bestseller), Dead Rat, Durian Smell and Toilet Smell.

Order now and we'll include a FREE Anti Mother-In-Law Deodorant. Guaranteed to discourage them from coming over for visits.

Your cost $19.99!

To order call:
1900 345 0007

or write to:
B.O Deodorant
PO Box 008
Phewlaphew Road
Singapore 139001

Send money order. Major
credit cards also accepted.

Minor Stuff Lar Alamak...

Hey, guys. I bet you don't like it when someone is not comfortable with some situation and they don't say so as early as possible? Hmm. They think that it's a problem to say out their preferable desires but honestly, I think that their desires are too small to be said out.

Look, no matter how small they are, they might just be more important than you think, alright? Stop craving for meager satisfactions. Stop being submissive. Just take a look inside, ask the right questions and then voice out. You'll get the right answers and maybe some respect. Sigh. Mood's down today. I'm telling you so you'll know exactly what to expect and when to leave me alone. Gotta keep to my safety zone and surround myself with positive people. Hanisah and Noor are out cold today. Minor stuff lar alamak...

Anyways, I've been swimming alone at night at the complex. It's fun. The sound of the water going into the drain all around the pool. Not many swimmers around. Ahhh, how peaceful and quiet can it get? I tried timing my breath hold under water and I got 2.33 minutes. I did some improvision you know. I took a few breaths, diffused my temper as well and then I went down again, closing my eyes this time. Paying attention to the sound of water, I got 3.03 minutes. Heh.

Oh by the way, my team's project got the highest marks overall. I wasn't quite expecting it so it was pretty stunning. After all that work, along with what we've been dealing with lately like having common tests and having many other assignments to complete, we know we've earned it. Azhar, Bing Cheng, nice working with you guys...

Bestfriends for life. Aquilah. The girl who first caught my eyes in primary school. The girl who first choked me in secondary school. The girl whom I always dig out the truth and the latest gossip with a little effort of persuasion.
Gullible and submissive. Now I know why Rod Montero and Jean Danker act like us. The most touching thing is that, she was always there for me and i was always there for her. But the commitment isn't the same anymore. More new friends to hangout with. It's hard. But we always have super fun when we meet. Sigh. Just pray that she'll still be around when i get married and have grandchildren.

Ps: I'm thinking of taking a part-time desgin course with you someday.

Oh Smart One

Paul Walker says:
hey. you there?
Shalih says:
yeah.
Paul Walker says:
hey i overheard that you're trying to be like me?
Shalih says:
hah. yeah.
Paul Walker says:
trying hard?
Shalih says:
not really. why?
Paul Walker says:
don't have to. you're already are. just look at your hair. we've already got one thing in common.
Shalih says:
hah. thanks.
*SmarterChild has been added to the conversation.
*SmarterChild has left the conversation.
Paul Walker says:
who's that?

Ma Me Mo

Shalih says:
hey paul, what's up?
Paul Walker says:
nothing much, you?
Shalih says:
same here. so how are you?
Paul Walker says:
never felt better. hey look, i gotta go. i'll catch up with you some time. promise.
Shalih says:
okay sure.
Paul Walker says:
thanks. bye!
Shalih says:
bye!
* Paul Walker may bot reply because he or she appears to be offline. Click here to add a mobile number for this contact.

I Want My KFC!

I don’t know but it feels like there’s an increasing friction between Azhar and me. I don’t know whether or not it’s a sign. "Well, I’m not pressurizing you, my friend. You don’t have to join Salem Fire as soon as possible if you don’t want to. Take your time, whatever, but you should always keep your chin up. That’s more important than anything else."

Anyways, I’m busy with school and I think I love it. In fact, I’m so happy to be doing what I’m doing that I’m ready to take on the world. I’m not going to start working though, but I think I should just make a plan for my future.

Talking about plans, Tuesday’s Valentine’s Day. A day where one should able to spend some quality time with his loved one or at least to have a very special, very memorable evening that one spent a few hours preparing a few days before. Aw so sweet!

Be my valentine, anyone?

Hah! Being single is good. Your doors are all open. You’re able to flirt again without any restrictions and limitations, and hey, I still remember back during the secondary school days when I was so flirtatious with girls. All those flings I had. Those ego boosters. Those confidence gainer. Those suicidal girls I managed to counsel with a lil' bit of charm. Hah! What history! Oh... and there was this girl tough, that I loved so very much that I went all out 100%, from my heart, mind and soul, oh and wallet too, but the whole thing just doesn’t seem to turn out right in the end. The truth was out and I was quite devastated, traumatised and heartbroken. Quite sad though. All the time and money that I’ve sacrificed willingly, all sort of wasted, but hey, I’m all over it now; well actually long time ago and this will the final look-back at the one who's now the none.

Ps: Don’t hold back now. Let it go. Thanks.

Back To The Lab Again

Hey, things are so quiet in here. Lets get things updated.

I’ve been feeling somewhat different nowadays. I can’t really explain that feeling I’m having, but I do know that lately, I’ve been rejecting companionships in school. I guess it’s that period of time where being alone feels good to me. The weird thing is that I keep trying to find somewhere hushed to relax a little even though there’s nothing to relax about, so I really have no idea what I’m going through basically.

I guess it’s time for my friends in school to have a taste of my doom-and-gloom attitude. It’s going to be hard to maintain a positive mental attitude but I’ll try my best and I hope until then, no one would be scared off.

Sigh. What’s wrong with me? Why am I feeling like this? I don’t know. I guess, it’ll be a good idea to have friend coming over. It’s been a very long time since I last had my friends in my room. My room’s very clean and neat now, hah, so before it gets dirty and untidy again over the week, someone must come over or something.

Maybe Azhar and Bing Cheng can come over to do our project and maybe at the same time, play some games or something. I don’t know whether or not we’ll get anything done but I do know it’ll be damn good to chill in my room during these busy and stressful weeks. I’m expecting some girls to come over. Hah! Well, just as long as they call first, though. Not everyone enjoys impromptu guests.

Well if no one wants to come then it’s perfectly all right too. I don’t want to suffer my energy just by playing host. Hah! So for now, I just want KFC. Ciao.