Be The Main Actor, Jack!

God wants to make a movie with an ending like this.

Jack: I'll help you to forget me, Elizabeth.
Elizabeth: There's no need for that, Jack. I don't want to forget you for the rest of my life. You'll always have a very special place in my heart and Jack, I hope you won't ever forget me too.

Of course, this is not a normal movie. This is reality. A documentary. So it doesn't have to end in hugs and kisses.

Jack: Nonsense! Guys that you'll meet will also have a special place in your heart eventually...
Elizabeth: Yeah, but...
Jack: ...and don't say that as if you will come back to me in the end? I don't wanna be someone whom you can put on hold just so that you can check out all the other guys around the world. I've been in that position before and thank you God for making so very patient. I just hope God and I can do it again... with you now.

That was somewhat negative. By now, we'll know that Jack won't be starring in the next movie. So lets try a positive Jack shall we?

Elizabeth: ...and Jack, I hope you won't ever forget me too.
Jack: Hey, hey, hey... If you found yourself the right one, don't worry because I'll still be there for you and yes, I'll never forget you.

Oh and of course no one can ever be as nice as Jack. He's just keeping it in like most of us guys do. Why don't we activate the translation program?

************************************************************
WELCOME TO BLOGGER TRANSLATION PROGRAM>>>
PLEASE INPUT PHRASE>>>

Jack: If you found yourself the right one, don't worry because I'll still be there for you and yes, I'll never forget you.

PROCESSING PLEASE WAIT>>>>>>
TRANSLATING>>>

Jack: Crawl back to me in the end okay?

DO YOU WANT TO CONTINUE?>>>
**************************************

What If (Part 4)

Scene: At the Parliament
Chairman/Judge (CJ): I give up! So who's next?
Assistant (As): The Minister for Education (MFE)!
MFE enters the Parliament wearing a graduation day outfit.
CJ: Oei! What you think this is, graduation day is it?
MFE: I think we should all be proud of our educational background.
Opposition (Op) stands up.
Op: You look like Batman with a flat head!
MFE ignores and continues.
MFE: I also think that we can save the tax payers money if we close all schools and let children study at home through computers.
CJ: Excellent idea!
MFE: Heh! Heh! Thank you sir.
CJ: BY the way, since we're closing all the schools, we won't need a Minister for Education...
Op: Not so bad what. Maybe you can try for a role in Batman or Phantom of the Paradise.
CJ and Op smile.
MFE: But, but... but...
MFE starts crying away.
CJ: I always thought he was a bit crazy. So who do we have next? Oh no... It's the Minister for The Arts.........

What If (Part 3)

Scene: At the Parliament
BOOM!
Chairperson/Judge (CJ): What the @*%# is happening?
Assistant (As): It's the Minister for Defence, trying to make a grand entrance.
Minister for Defence (MFD) enters the Parliament wearing a Rambo costume while holding a weapon.
MFD: How do you like my new anti-tank gun? Don't worry, I'm using blanks.
The other members (Mems): This Defence Minister always trying to impress.
CJ: So what are you trying to prove?
MFD: That you are never too old to carry a gun. I'm proposing that due to manpower shortages, we recall all senior citizens for active duty.
Mems: I object to that idea on the grounds that if will deprive our vital industries of senior citizen. Who's going to work in all the McDonald's stores? Who's going to be security guards? Who's going to collect ten cents at the public toilets if we mobilise all the senior citizens?
CJ: ...and don't forget, there are many senior citizens in this room too, so I suggest you go back and review your proposal.
MFD: Okay lah, in that case I think I'll consider using foreign workers.
Mems start whispering again.
Mems: I think we should put him and the Minister for Environment in a rocket and send them to orbit.
CJ: You two again! One more time and I'll make you stand outside.
MFD: By the way, since I'm here, let me show you how the anti-tank gun works.
MFD starts to fiddle with the weapon.
BANG B-B-B-BANG BANG!
MFD: Err., sorry, I think I may have loaded a live round by mistake. ANYWAY, now we have a sun roof. Heh! Heh!
CJ: You clown! Now I have to call for the Civil Defence to repair the hole. Who's in charge of the Civil Defence?
As: The Minister for Home Affairs.
CJ: So where is he?
As: At home, sir.
CJ: I give up! So who's next?
As: The Minister for Education.........

Presenting...

Presenting...

What If (Part 2)

Scene: At the Parliament
Chairperson/Judge (CJ): Okay. Now the Minister for Environment will be presenting his budget.
Minister for Environment (MFE) enters the Parliament wearing a road sweeping outfit.
MFE: In case you all are wondering why I'm dressed like this...
CJ: Don't tell me you are also trying to get a feel of the job?
MFE: No, no, I dress this way because i can then blend into the crowd, and see first hand the problems my workers are facing.
CJ: So what have you discovered?
MFE: I think our citizens are not taking the Corrective Work Order too seriously. We need to increase the penalties.
CJ rolls eyes.
CJ: What do you have in mind?
MFE: How about caning for first time offenders?
Opposition (Op) stands up.
Op: Oei, don't talk rubbish lah!
The other members (Mems) cut in.
Mems: What do you mean? He's the Minister for The Environment, of course he has to talk rubbish.
Op turns and giggles.
CJ: Ahem, ahem, err... cameraman make sure that part is censored, okay?
MFE: I'm sick of all these jokes about my ministry, okay?!
CJ: Aiyah! Relax lah, why so uptight? Let's discuss your rubbish, I MEAN your issue later okay?
BOOM!
CJ: What the @*%# is happening...?!

What If (Part 1)

In this post, I'd like you to imagine what things would be like if parliament proceedings were conducted in a more casual atmosphere. Proceedings could be conducted in Singlish and what if all the members were required to make their speeches more entertaining? Well exercise your creativity and I'll give an idea. Here goes...

Scene: At the Parliament
Chairperson/Judge (CJ): And now the Minister for Transport will present his proposal.
Minister for Transport (MFT) enters the parliament with a Harley Davidson Motorcycle.
MFT: Not bad ah! Impressive or not?
CJ: Oei! What you think this is? Beach party is it?
MFT: Aiyah! Relax lah! With the rise in C.O.E. prices even I can't afford to buy a car. So I decided to invest in a motorcycle.
Opposition (Op) stands up.
Op: Do you know that motorcycle C.O.E. also very expensive?
CJ and the other members (Mems) look at Op.
CJ: You ah, every time like to spoil the fun.
Mems: Can you stop complaining or not?
Mems: Yah, yah, sit down lah!
MFT: After I started riding motorcycles, I realised how dangerous our roads are for motorcyclists, so I'm proposing that we increase the C.O.E. for cars by 100%.
Mems: Oei, oei! No, no!
CJ: You gila or what?
MFT: This will stop people from buying cars and then the streets will be safe for motorcyclist.
Mems start whispering.
Mems: Looks like he spent too much time under the sun.
Mems: Yah, looks like one of his screws is loose. Heh heh!
CJ: Aye, you two can stop talking or not?
Mems: Sorry lah, just trying to stay awake by telling jokes.
CJ: Yah, I notice some of the back benchers are already in dreamland. Must tell the TV cameraman not to focus on these sleeping beauties. What will the public think? Okay, now the Minister for Environment will be presenting his budget.........

Life

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