the man..

went swimming wid jing today..
woke up at 8 am.. supposed to mit her at 8..
hehehehe.. damn freaking early..
cos she got work today...
we wanted to sun tan..
but the sun was too busy playing hide-and-seek wid the clouds..
and forgot all abt warming the rest of us..
so my skin colour is still the same..
talked abt stuff wid her..
thats wat best frens are good at..
chatting.. chatting and not forgetting gossip..
and u can trust dem not to blab abt it..
anyways.. as i was on my way home..

an old man was lying at the bus stop seat..
his eyes tells me tt he's fully awake..
i see him everytime i stop dere..
his dark tanned skin..
tells me of long hours spent under the sun..
his white and unkempt hair..
reflects of old age and poor hygiene..
i cldnt kip my eyes on him..
such heart wrenching pain..
sympathy and pity..
yet he's still alive..
to tell a tale without words..
the area where he lay..
stenched wid urine..
it was unbearable to see him..
i had to look away..
not in disgust..
but in sorrow and pity..
the few belongings he had wid him..
it was den i realised..
he's homeless..
tears were clogging my eyelashes..
pain.. all i felt was his sorrow..
wat am i supposed to do as a public?
wld u as a public, turn away in disgust?
he was not helping himself..
by lying dere hopelessly..
de least he shld do..
is to go look for some odd jobs to do..
to earn himself a living..
it seems.. he's given up all hope..
feeling comfortable on a plush sofa..
or even lying on a soft pillow..
however so.. dis man..
does not seem to be bothered at all..
so here is where my anger sets in..

he's a perfectly healthy looking man..
he's alive, able to walk, able to pass motion...
perfectly capable of taking care of himself..
so wat is he doin here?
taking shelter at a public bus stop..
sleeping dere and treating it like his home..
if wat he needs is money,
work for it..
if he needs a bath,
the toilet is juz a kilometre away..
even old, hunched ladies can collect card-board boxes..
juz so tt dey can haf wat little comfort dey can afford..
even the crippled can work hard to live and stay satisfied..
wat abt this man?
is it all abt sympathy?
he looks sane to me..
he doesnt give those "pervertic" looks..
he isnt begging for money on the streets either..
so wat does he lack?
he isnt helping himself..
maybe he expects someone to help him..
some "kind" soul who wld offer shelter..
tt "kind" soul wld definitely not be me..
i wld definitely not help someone who refuse to help himself..
such pp take things for granted..
its such a pity tt he turned out to be dis way..
but den again..
dis is only my biased pt of view..
i know nth of him..
nv talked to him..
i cld only watch from far..
i dun wan to talk to him wid tears in my eyes..
tears tt flow cos of strong empathy for him..
its such a waste tt i wld cry for such pp..
maybe smth drastic happened in his life..
maybe he's juz depressed..
i dunno.. but until i pick up the courage..
to approach him.. without tears in my eyes..
i wld ask..
i wld like to know why..
to understand why..
i wld like to help if i cld..
but until den..
he may not be ard anymore..
maybe.. till den...