my thoughts.. the rest is still unwritten......

as i lay to slp
i tot abt all those tings which made pp happy
and i soon realised
dat being happy is all abt satisfaction
the littlest tings in life
and not to ask for more den u deserve
wid tots swirling ard my head
i slept thru it
waking up wid a smile on my face
hearing the voices of my beloved ones
chattering away
busy wid their daily activities
and dere near me
5 living things slept
breathing the very air that i breathe
i looked at the bliss in their faces
satisfied, contented wid being alive
as i looked closer
i realised that there were only 4
one cldnt make it
the oldest..
she cldnt make it thru to see the joy the world has to offer..
the mother weeped silently
her eyes.. full of sorrow..
invisible tears rolling down her cheeks
so full of beauty
even in her sorrow..
the other 3 were nestling between each other
sharing the warmth and comfort of the other
they too.. may be weeping silently for their missing sister..
may she rest in peace..
i cldnt cry
cos she's safe..
back to the person who created her..
i'm happy for her.. at least she wldnt haf to go thru the hardships of life..
but still..
may she be happy wherever she is..
my kitten.. so beautiful she is..
even as she lay on her deathbed...
serene.. composed.. so beautiful..
























its abt him again..
always..
the past will oways come back to haunt
our lives.. in turmoil..
all that old story
had to be brought up again..
the question of trust
undeniable..
promises
meant to be kept
lay broken in nothingness..
we quarreled
a misunderstanding
we cleared it
so now we're happy again..
we're related.. in a way..
blood ties..
unavoidable..
y'd others know
smth which is meant for us
he'd go ard and tell everyone
smth which is meant for our ears..
bcos he knew..
that finally it'd reach us..
no.. me..
its meant for me..
smth he held
against me..
i was told to wait
for smth
he wanted to prove..
smth..
he forgot all abt it
bcos now
i have u
and bcos of that
he went away
back to where he tot he's meant to be
he hides
he pretends
bcos u.. are related to him
he's left wid no choice
he refuse to lose..
will not admit defeat..
tinks he's most forgiving
tries to forget everything
when late at nite..
he cld be thinking abt this
he cld be doin anything
he cld, may or wld..
and all these..
u know..
smth not meant to be spoken
i know..
and i will speak of it..
its over.. a long long time ago..
eons of age.. old memory..
history..
so y do we still think of it now..
bcos its unavoidable
bcos deres smth
incomplete
but we let it rest
we shall let it rest as it is














I am unwritten,
can't read my mind,
I'm undefined
I'm just beginning,
the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your innovations

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten
(natasha beddingfield-unwritten)